Quality Assurance Audit

from Boilerplate by Brain Bent

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about

An annual review.

lyrics

Welcome to your staff review
Where you learn how we really think of you
We've pulled calls and we can't relate
To all your bathroom breaks, why don't you demonstrate

Calls per minute, call per day
Numerical breakdown, don't delay
Crunch the time you spend on useless shit
This is your quality assurance audit

Excuse me but I'm unprepared
I lack the ability to be self aware
I've reduced my breaks and water drinking I swear
The thought of letting you down is almost too much to bear

Calls per minute, call per day
Clerical breakdown, don't delay
Crunch the time you spend on useless shit
This is your quality assurance audit

Well I love this job
Well we love you

An endless abyss of paid time off, inter office communicators, staff lunches, unpaid time off, and all sorts of other very lovely things. But hey, the benefits are great and the references? They can't be beat. If I could marry this job I would, if I could fuck this job I would, but I can't. Instead I sit here staring at a cubicle wall under fluorescent lights wondering why. Wondering why and wondering how. How did I get here.

I worship this job
And we worship you

credits

from Boilerplate, released March 17, 2023
Composed and Performed by Brain Bent

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all rights reserved

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about

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Brain Bent Calgary, Alberta

Brain Bent is a tightly-wound machine of jagged post-punk menace, filtered through the banality of corporate jargon and powered by late-stage capitalist dread.

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